Update

I suppose an update is probably in order as I have not been on in quite a while.

Since graduation I have been hard at work, only now it isn't school work.  The Monday after graduation I began work on the YoUMA summer program which was my internship last year.  YoUMA is a summer interdisciplinary immersion program that we host on the UMA campus during the last week in July and the first week in August.  Last year was our initial year, it was my internship for no pay - but out of it I got to know so much more about myself, knew what type of work I love doing, met many new people, and after the weeks were complete I was incredibly rewarded by the success of the program I had essentially created.  (After the skeleton of it was thrown into my lap last May)

After last year's program ended it found a home in the Admissions department, from there it changed hands a few times.  Finally, the week before graduation, I received a phone call asking if I would come back to head up the program again this year.  I am currently the co-coordinator, alongside Mike Cooley from the Admissions department.  So far, it has been fantastic!

Other things going on in my life have kept me busy as well.  I am still planning that wedding which is now only 2 months away.  I have also continued to attend psychology appointments for my daughter.  We have also begun therapy since she was diagnosed with Sensory Seeking, Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD).  SPD in itself is a huge challenge and we are just trying to work through that day to day.

Tomorrow my daughter is graduating from the Pre-K program at her daycare and moving upstairs to the kindergarten age classroom on Monday.  She will be starting kindergarten the Monday after the wedding.

I will go into the gallery tomorrow and remove my piece, pick up my guestbook and read it over.  I'll bring it home, go to the graduation, and then keep planning.  Life is such a whirlwind!

Finished!!!

I am now finished my senior project...it has been titled "Intuition".  I will be posting pictures below.  My piece has been installed in the Gannett Building Gallery at 331 Water Street in downtown Augusta along with the rest of the artists in the building.  We all finished installing yesterday and I have to say that all of the work looks great together!  We are definitely a great group!  Hopefully I'll be able to get in and see the show at the Danforth today...I'm excited to see what has been done with that!

Now all that is left is to pick up my label and place it and put in my artist statement.  :)  It's been a long road but it's finally finished and it feels great!  I feel honored to be a part a such a great group of artists and hope to keep in touch with them for years to come!

Nearing the end...

Last Tuesday's class critique went very well!  We all made an interesting discovery about my piece when it was turned on its side, I feel it is much more successful this way. 

Since Tuesday's critique I have been sick, I am getting better now and the rain has finally stopped so I can get out and work.  I can only work at home now since I am no longer allowed to work in the sculpture studio. 

I have a good chunk of the day to be working today.  I started off by cutting out extra areas and problem areas that just weren't working with the piece.  Yes, I got gutsy and started sawing pieces off!  Fingers crossed that the final transport won't be too rough on it since I'm now removing pieces that could compromise structural integrity in transport.  Standing alone, though, it should be fine.  My plan is to work as much as I can all this week and this coming weekend I will stain it.

I have decided to go with stain, especially since it will be laid on its side now.  When it was standing up I think the stain would have brought too much out and compromised the aesthetic but I think it will be ok now.  I found a nice stain at Home Depot called Golden Pecan.  It is darker than the natural wood but not much, it should give it a nice honey colored hue.

Now the only consideration left is to figure out how the piece will be displayed...  Any thoughts on pedestals would be super helpful!  I think they should be between knee and waist height so viewers can see the upper parts of it but also not have to crawl on the floor to see the underside either.  Thoughts and advice are appreciated!

Ponderings & questions for YOU!

When I met with Lin Lisberger over vacation she had expressed concern for me getting my entire piece carved in time but that I struck her as the type of person that will get it done anyway.  I agree, but when there's a deadline I get the project done.  One thing she suggested, to move the process along a little faster, was to try using a grinder.  I was a little apprehensive about this because the grinder wields so much power and could easily take off a chunk of unfinished piece or a completed detail that I didn't intend to remove.  Last week in the studio my Dremmel quit on me, the last thing I needed at this point.  After taking it back to Home Depot and getting a new one, they were very nice about it and understanding that I did not have the time for it to be sent out for repair, I got back to work.  After a little prodding from Russ on Thursday I finally got gutsy and decided to use the grinder...  I have used one before, when I took the welding class, but grinding steel and grinding pine are two very different things.  It was a little daunting at first because the wood is so soft and the grit of the grinder just eats away at the material, but after a few minutes I got into a groove and I must say it really does the job!  I can't wait to get back into the studio tomorrow and get some more work done!

Something I have been thinking about is what I'm going to use for supporting materials with the display.  I feel like my best option is a book.  If you can recall from my revised artist statement, I talked a lot about process and materials and my interaction with them.  I went into this project with a basic plan but not a vision of the exact outcome, rather than forcing the wood to become what I want it to be I have a conversation with it...  I tell the wood what I'd like it to do and it tells me how much it will take.  Please keep in mind that I'm not actually having a verbal conversation with my materials...I haven't jumped that far overboard yet!  :)  What it's really about is the intuition with which I carve and the fact that combined with my coaxing, I allow the material to do what it wishes and become an end product much like a collaboration.

My plan is to create a blurb book for my support material.  In this book I plan to use images and text.  The images will contain different portions of my process from start to finish.  I haven't yet decided exactly what I want the text to depict yet.  Somewhere in there I plan on having my artist statement.  Other than that I'm not sure what would be intriguing for others to read about. 

So here is my question for you...if you could ask me anything about my piece, process, direction, statement, etc. what would it be?  If you were to look in this book of image what might you hope to walk away with as far as information?

Mentor Critique and Other Things

On Wednesday I met with Lin Lisberger, a wood carving artist from Gorham.  I had met with her a year ago to learn the basics of carving wood and she was extremely helpful.  When I arrived I heard her pounding away in her studio.  The last time I was there she was working on something new, she was carving knots into branches.  This time, she'd taken that to an exponential level and is carving these large knot pieces that hang on the wall, they are stunning!  After I got set up we began talking about my piece, she was very impressed where I have taken my carving since we last met.  She was very excited about the piece that I'm working on.  She gave me some tips on how to diminish the joints better than what I had planned.  She also gave me a great tip on what to use for a finish, which I think I'll keep to myself for now.  After asking when the project had to be done by she told me that I may have bitten off a little more than I can chew, but I'll get it finished!  We spent some time talking about the flow of the piece and different things that I could do to emphasize that more.  Overall it was a wonderful visit and I found her feedback very valuable, I'm glad she was willing to meet with me.

My great gram is still declining.  We have had to make more decisions.  She will be coming home on Monday and hospice will be coming in to assist 3 days per week.  In the condition she's in now she could go to a hospice center but we have chosen to bring her home so she has a chance to die there, that's what she would want.  She can no longer be transported in a car, she must be transported by an ambulance service.  She is still refusing to eat or drink except for a couple sips or bites here and there.  She is becoming very dehydrated, they wanted to do some fluids but cannot do a normal IV because it would be dangerous for her heart.  The fluids would only last for a few hours and then she'd be right back to square one, so we have decided not to do them.  They have since stopped all "curative measures" and are going to take away everything but the pain medication, which they are increasing.  They are not sure if she'll make it through the weekend or not.  I dread every phone call from my mother because any phone call could be the one that she has passed.  I hope, for her own sake, that she finds peace soon so she can stop suffering.

On Monday Skylar had an OT Evaluation with a specialist, it has been determined that she has Sensory Processing Disorder.  SPD is a spectrum disorder that there are many different parts and pieces to and many different levels.  Skylar is of the "Sensory Seeking" portion which means her neurological sensing is under-responsive, meaning she needs more more more sensory input all the time.  Running, jumping, spinning, stomping, kicking, hitting, yelling, go go go, more more more.  She is also the type that, rather than feeling like an outsider because she doesn't interpret things like other kids her age, she gets frustrated very easily and gets aggressive and lashes out.  The specialist explained it to us like a venn diagram, on one side we're dealing with SPD and on the other side we're dealing with other behavioral issues and it all comes together in the middle and escalates.  We have to wait 3 weeks for our appointment to discuss all of the findings (there are 7 others ahead of us).  After that we have to wait to get into therapy/treatment.  There are no medications that can improve this, it's all therapy, research, understanding and hard work.  I hope we can get this done before she starts kindergarten in the fall.....

Wedding plans are going well, the honeymoon is on hold since Skylar's school doesn't decide the first day of kindergarten until June.  We're honeymooning in Newport, RI - I hope all the rooms aren't booked by the time we can book them...  I need to get 2 more references so I can start applying for jobs.  Graduation is May 14th, I hope to start working May 16th so I can pay bills for June, if not we'll have to use wedding and honeymoon money to pay the bills and cancel the wedding...  I also have to figure out how I'm going to pay $135/week for daycare this summer so that I can work... 

For now, I just need to enjoy the last few weeks of college and just crank out the work on my piece.  I'm determined to finish!

It's not about me

As many of you may have read before, my great grandmother has not been doing well over the past couple of months.  She has been in the Alzheimer's unit of a nursing home in Westbrook since she was released from the hospital weeks ago.  I have gone to see her every chance I have gotten, mostly once a week, sometimes twice.  I wish I lived closer so I could see her more.  Her condition has taken a turn for the worst.  Three weeks ago she was still able to use her walker to get from one place to another and able to sit up in a chair.  Over the past two weeks she has quickly declined.  For the most part she has stopped eating and drinking, taking only a few sips and bites at each meal.  When I have visited I have tried to feed her and get her to drink.  Sometimes she outright refuses, crossing her arms and turning her head away; other times she can't understand to open her mouth and take a bite.  My mother and I have had many conversations about what is fair and what isn't.  The nurses wanted to try putting her on medication that would boost her mood and improve her appetite.  My great grandfather, her husband, who died when I was 3 had a feeding tube and spent the end of his time bed ridden - that was never something she wanted to go through.  We chose not to do the medication because it's only chemically forcing her to do something she clearly doesn't want to do.

I was in to see her twice this week.  I got to spend a couple of hours alone with her on Saturday, I was happy to be able to spend some quality time with her.  I don't know how much of it you can call quality time.  It's so hard to visit with her, the Alzheimer's and dementia have progressed.  Sometimes her sentences make sense and sometimes they don't, mixed up words or words that don't make any sense.  It's so hard to see her laying there in bed helpless to do anything for herself, when her whole life she took pride in her independence.  Just 5 short years ago I told her I was pregnant with my daughter and we sat and had a coherent conversation about it and now there really isn't a conversation.  She lights up when I tell her I love her or give her a kiss, her face brightens when I run my fingers through her hair or rub her back, she always liked that.    It's frustrating for me to see her going through this, to try and talk with her but not all the words make sense, and she knows the words don't always make sense and she gets frustrated.  Three weeks ago we were talking about her getting better and coming home, now we're talking about her coming home to die.

I brought my daughter in with me again on Monday to see her.  Normally Skylar is shy and doesn't want to talk to Gram or touch her, but Monday was different.  We brought in pictures to hang on her bulletin board and took pictures with her.  Skylar climbed right up into bed with her and laid with her, she gave Gram a hug and a kiss; she was so gentle and kind, not shy this time at all.  She was happy to take pictures, for which I am thankful because these will be the last pictures we ever have of her.  When I was 3, not long before my great grandfather passed, a picture was taken of my sister and I in bed with him much the same as Skylar was.  That was the last picture we had of him and my sister and I still cherish it to this day, it's all we have.  I hope since Skylar is older than we were that she will have more memories than I did.  But her memories of my Gram won't be like my memories of my Gram, she started slipping not long after I had Skylar, but we do have some nice pictures of them before she slipped too far.

My reason for writing this is because I woke up in a panic this morning after having a dream that my Gram had passed.  I had hoped I could go back to sleep or to shake it off but I just can't.  I've been nothing but constant sniffles and tears to deep sobs and feeling nauseated since I woke up.  I can't help but to sit here and wonder if she is still alive or if she has passed.  I have thought of calling the nursing home but that thought seems silly to me...I would get a call if she had passed on, right?  I know that she isn't going to get better this time, I know that she's suffering being like this and I don't want her to suffer.  She is so frail, it's like her skin is just draped over her bones, like a sheet being draped over a broken structure.  She is weak and confused, she is scared and I don't like seeing her like this.  I don't want her to die, I don't want to lose her but that is selfish and I have come to terms with the fact that she needs to let go, she needs to be with my Papa.  I couldn't imagine living my life so strong and keeping it together so well for 20 years after my husband died.  She is and was always such a strong woman, so full of life, so hard headed and kind.  I have many, many fond memories of her and I suppose those are what hurt the most.

Even though you know it's time and that it could happen any day now, it sure doesn't make it any easier.  I spend every day wondering if she still there to visit and I spend every visit wondering if this is going to be my last.  I am an emotional wreck because I don't want to miss her but I know that she needs to go.  I don't like this waiting game, I don't like knowing that she's going to pass soon but I don't know when, it's agony.  I have reached peace with the fact that she is not going to get better and that she is slowly dying, but that sure doesn't make it easier.  I plan to visit her again today, after I meet with Lin in Gorham, what if this is my last visit?  What if this is the last time I see her alive?  It's such a gut wrenching, heart breaking feeling; one that sends uncontrollable tears and sobs through my body.  It's a feeling that sends flashbacks of all the memories I have of her.  Sitting where I am now...I wonder why we have funerals.  Maybe after it happens I will feel differently, but right now a funeral almost seems like agony, I say my goodbyes every day I see her; I hope she can understand them, I'm not sure if she remembers them from day to day or even if she remembers who I am, but I know she feels comfortable with me and she knows that I love her.  A funeral almost seems like ripping a scab off a healing wound, can't we just be in peace, why do we have to rip the wound open again?  It's hard to think that soon, when I visit my Papa's grave that I won't just be visiting him, I'll be visiting her too.  I know that it's time and I know that this will and has to happen but why does it hurt so much?

Can I keep it together when I go see her or am I going to be a wreck?  Will she understand?  Is it selfish of me to let my feelings take over rather than staying strong for her?  At 24, I have never had anyone close to me pass away, only my Papa when I was 3 but I didn't understand.  How am I going to explain this to my daughter?  How am I going to tell her that her great great grandmother is no longer with us, that she's gone to Heaven to be with her Papa that she's never met?  How am I going to walk into her house again without completely breaking down?  Am I going to be able to hold it together enough to finish senior project and graduate?  I don't know.  It's not about me, it's about her finding peace.

 What I do know is that I'm going to go see her again today...if she's still here...

Outside Mentor Crit

I am very excited as tomorrow I will be meeting with Gorham artist Lin Lisberger at her studio to discuss my piece for senior project.  I am really looking forward to getting her input and feedback as she works with wood and is a great teacher.  I had the pleasure of meeting with her late last spring to get a handle on wood carving before jumping into my first wood carving venture.  At the same time, I'm just a little nervous to have an outside artist look at my work since I'm used to the UMA professors and my classmates, I hope it's good enough.  Time will tell!

I just wish this snow would go away so I can get back to working outside again.

Just a quickie...

Just a quick update tonight.  My mentor critique with Bob Katz this past Wednesday went really well.  :)

I wanted to point out that the images I'm posting are general views of my piece.  Although I have some shots that are close up, compared with others, it is still very different from seeing the piece in person.  The images are good to use as a mental point of view for what my overall sculpture looks like but the detailing is best viewed in person.  The images just don't do it justice.  It appears as though I might be able to upload a video clip or two on here.  I may make an attempt at doing some video documentation of the piece to post on here as that would be the next best thing to seeing it in person.  The pictures are just a still shot from an angle and they make it very difficult for you to relate one small section of the piece to another.  It is best viewed in person...that is where your eye has the ability to wander and explore all of the details in form and surface and where you can direct your own path/way of looking at it - it is much more exciting and rewarding.

I am looking for some input from my readers out there in regards to finishes.  I am pretty open to just about anything, other than painting it.  My purpose for not wanting to paint the piece is that it would have the tendency to lose its identity as wood - I might as well be doing the piece in plaster.  I want to go in a direction that will enhance what I have, not cover it up.  Some options that I'm considering right now include:

• Stains
• Burning
• Oils (linseed or other natural based oils)
• Satin Polyurethane (to seal the piece and protect it, but satin so it doesn't have an overly glossy finish, they do not make matte polys anymore)
• Charcoal (maybe dusting some parts or grinding it in)
• Raw (not doing any surface treatment)

I would appreciate some feedback on the options I am currently considering and what they might lend or take away from the piece as well as any other ideas that might come to mind.  I'm excited to hear your thoughts and opinions!  

A little more time...

I got a little more time in the studio today and I'm proud to say that the building phase of my piece is finished!  I had been having a hard time resolving the top portion but for some reason it just clicked today.  I am very pleased to know that the next 5 weeks will be dedicated to carving and modifying the structure.  I feel like I am in a very good position right now.  I've already got a good start on the carving of the middle portion, the whole piece is built.  I would say I'm somewhere in the middle of 1/3 and 1/2 done my piece.  It's all downhill from here!  I am also very confident at the point of process I'm in for the upcoming full faculty critique next Tuesday.  The last full faculty critique before the final one the day before graduation, what a transition point in time...I'm confident.  :)

Here are the latest in-process images for you to enjoy, again comments are much appreciated!

Today's Studio Progress

I was able to get in another 5 hours of studio time today, I left at 10 tonight and will be back for the better part of the day tomorrow.  Thought I'd share some more progress pictures!  A few more layers have been added to the base, it is still not quite high enough.  The entire piece currently stands at 3.5 feet.  Enjoy!  Comments appreciated!

Cut Short...

I made my way into the studio today, rearing to go and in hopes of getting another good block of studio time in.  I was able to get another layer built on the base and the bottom portion of the middle section attached, as well as a little more structure modification.  This was all that I was able to get accomplished before security came in and told me that I had 5 minutes to clean up and leave before he came back, due to campus closing for the storm.  Frustrating, I just want to work.  :(  Oh well, better luck tomorrow I hope.

Progression

I was able to get into the studio again yesterday.  I put in a solid 9 hours of work.  The weather is supposed to be much less than desirable tomorrow but if I can get up early and get in there hopefully I'll get another solid block of time to work.  I have some new progress pictures that I will include below. 

Two weekends ago, the day after my great grandmother was admitted to the hospital, I ran into a pretty good case of Sculptor's Block and wasn't able to make anything work for me.  After that I had classes and the 4 times daily laxatives with my daughter and appointments, etc.  I feel that I really needed that break away from my work so that I could go back in with a clean view, and boy did I! 

Yesterday I built some more of the lower middle section and also started on the base which will be the portion between the ground and the middle (which you have seen if you've been keeping up with my blog).  I made some good progress yesterday and hope to make some more tomorrow!

Center Section #1

Center Section #2

Center Section #3

Center Section #4

Alternate View #1

Alternate View #2

Base (Plan View)

Base (Elevation View)

Base (Perspective View)

Detail #1

Detail #2

Detail #3

Detail #4

Detail #5

Detail #6

Sculptural Writer's Block

Where to start...  At this point in time I have sculptural writer's block, I think I just have too much on my mind.  I went into the studio today to get some work done and it was ok for the first few hours but slowly things went downhill and I just wasn't getting the results I wanted.  I felt lost and didn't know what to do next...  I'm not sure if it's from lack of sleep or having too much on my mind - probably both. 

I lost 6 hours of planned studio time yesterday.  My great grandmother, who is 92 and has progressed Alzheimer's, had fallen Friday night and was taken into the hospital.  She was sent home that night with a sore leg, a fractured rib and some pain medication.  Saturday morning after breakfast my mother found that she was all of a sudden unresponsive and called an ambulance, she was taken into the ER again.  I wasn't sure what was going on an,d in her condition, I also wasn't sure if this would be the end or not so I felt that I needed to go into the hospital to see her, if I hadn't and something had happened I would have regretted it.  After 10 hours in the ER they still weren't sure what was wrong with her and admitted her into the hospital, she stayed last night and is staying again tonight, they still don't know what is wrong.  I suppose this is weighing on my mind pretty heavily.

I'm also thoroughly exhausted with the battle I'm going through with my 4.5 year old daughter.  Since October she has not been able to pass a normal bowel movement, she has been on laxatives daily since the beginning of December.  Two xrays and a couple of "cleanout cocktails" later we still have had no luck, she is very blocked up.  After finally seeing a specialist last Monday we had to start a more aggressive regimen of laxatives and are not really able to send her to daycare.  The "cleanout" portion of the new regimen hasn't had much impact and we are now implementing a schedule of laxatives 4 times per day.  It is now a matter of coordinating schedules between my fiance and I, since she can't attend daycare right now.  There are so many times in the schedule that he is working and I have to be in class, I have had to choose wisely which classes to attend and which I cannot...he has had to try and switch his schedule around a good deal as well.  Things are just super crazy, hectic, and a huge juggling act...  At this point I'm not sure what to do, where to go, or how to stay sane... 

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. 

I need serenity.

Applicable

In checking my horoscope this morning I found it very fitting and thought I would share:

You may feel as though you have been wasting your time with a certain person or a certain goal.  That may be because - despite investing a lot of time and energy and passion into something - you have seen few, if any, results that will help with your objective.  But just because you haven't seen evidence of progress does not mean it isn't happening.  On the contrary, you have come further than you know in realizing your dream.  Keep plugging ahead, and have faith that you will achieve what you hope for.

- - - - -

Yesterday I had a few hours to work, I was also able to speak with Bob about the critique and where I'm headed.  I'm not really sure what the expectations are for how much work should be produced in regards to Senior Project, I will have to get to the bottom of that.

Other than that, I began building more of the piece yesterday, most of what I tackled was within the piece working up.  I also began a bit with working the bottom of the piece downward more.  Right now I am focusing on the building portion for the most part, it will be built in 3 pieces, you all have already seen the middle section.  I am now working on the upper and lower sections.  After these have been built I will be clamping them together and working the material at the joining sections so as to visually mesh them together.  After they have been worked at the joining sections I will again, take the 3 pieces apart and work the structure and surface separately so that I can get into all of the smaller, tighter areas.  Also a benefit of working on them separately is that there will be less of a chance for the pounding and vibration to weaken the glued joints while it is bigger.  After I feel the majority of the surface work has been completed I will then laminate the 3 sections together to make the one large piece.  After doing this I will fine tune the surface texture, or lack thereof, respectively and then begin to work on finishes.

This is a brief explanation of my process, one that I hope is easier to understand.  The rest of the work; the intuition, the connection and the passion is much less easy to talk about, it's more a feeling - a conversation with both the materials, and the piece as a whole.  I feel a special bond with my work, that being said, it is difficult for me to explain, it's one of those things that "you just know".

In a recent issue of Sculpture Magazine there is an article and interview with Ursula Von Rydingsvard, I have been familiar with her work for some time now as well as her process.  When I watched the episode of Art21 with her in it, I really felt like I was watching my twin soul...my style is so similar to hers, before I had even heard of her.  It was really a breath of fresh air and a nod that I was headed in the right direction.  I want to point out a section of her interview because it really struck a cord with me.

"As I'm working on a sculpture, my base is a highly intuitive one.  I never speak to myself except to say, "No, no, not this" or "Well, this might be a little more doable."  It's all visual and psychological response, all a feeling that has to do with a reaction that comes from - I'm not quite sure where.  One of my goals is to make the process of my making even less about consciously editing.  I'm trying to engage something that I can't control as easily, from a realm that might, in fact, be a more consequential place in terms of the core of what human beings are, or who I might be."
~ Ursula von Rydingsvard
(Sculpture Magazine: December 2010, Vol. 29 No. 10)

I have also been looking at some of David Nash's work, he also has an interview in the recent SM.  He works with wood as well and a lot of his pieces are very intriguing to me.  Something about him that really clicked with me is that he calls himself "a researcher into the science and anthropology of trees".

- - - - -

So there is the piece that I wanted to get out and share this morning.  I'm sure there will be more as soon as my progress becomes a little more defined.

Artist Statement Revision

My inspiration comes from nature and is a prominent factor in the creation of my pieces.  I pull inspiration from little things, big things, and all that lies between.  My interest is focused less on final product and more on process.  It’s about connecting with my materials.  My initial notion stems from inspiration and begins to take form, piece by piece.  Materials are added, they are taken away; the materials may be broken, changed and reassembled.  It is my belief that when art can be interpreted for what it is that the viewer does not spend as much time with it.  When process is left and a sense of mystery is created, a viewer may spend more time investigating the piece.  The purpose is not to have an end product of perfection but one that invites you to ponder the methods used to create it.

It's About Statement

It's about process and connecting with materials.

I will be adding an image on Tuesday.

Critique Results

Here are the images of my piece all put together for yesterday's critique.  Keep in mind that this is only a portion of what the sculpture will be...what has been constructed is the middle portion.  

The side with the sample finished parts.  The section of the piece above the clamps is where I have modified the surface.

What I have done is started in the middle of the form and will continue to build upward and downward until the final form is achieved.  I plan for the final sculpture to be between 6-10' in height.  So far in my process I have begun to build the basic structure from pine boards.  After completing the base structure I will continue with my original plan and add in old or found wood, or both.  After I have done that I will look at the progress and determine whether other materials would be useful in contributing to the sculpture, at that time I will know what would work or not work...but that is all contingent on where the sculpture is at that point.  The beauty of sculpture is like a charcoal drawing where you can add more or take it away, and you can continue to add and take away until you've achieved something successful.

For the first full faculty critique yesterday I worked as hard as I possibly could in order to get enough of the actual structure built to give everyone some sort of idea of what my plan is, as well as get as much of the structural modification done so that everyone could begin to understand how I will transform this basic 'ordered structure' into an 'organic structure'.

As far as the critique...After that 10 minutes of brutal hell, I came out of the critique feeling completely obliterated, as though I'd been hit by a freight train.  I understand that a critique is supposed to challenge me and get me to think about what I'm doing, but a critique is also supposed to be somewhat of a safe haven where constructive criticism takes place and of understanding where I'm at and where I plan to go.  It blew my mind to be told that it didn't matter what I am going to do but what mattered was the work that had been done so far.  In my feeling it was treated much like a final critique...what I had was supposed to be 'finished product' when in fact that is absolutely not the case.  This was the first critique, one where we have only had 2 weeks to work...and I have utilized every free moment of my 2 weeks to get this done.  I have neglected my household cleaning, I have neglected my fiance and the children, I have neglected to go grocery shopping...  All I have done for the past two weeks is go to classes and spend hours upon hours in the studio working.  Every day is getting up early and going to class or the studio and working for the entire day.  For me to be told that all of my work pretty much didn't matter and that we weren't going to talk about the future of my work was brutal.  From my understanding this was a first critique, work in progress, and the next in March is another process critique...  If my work was at the stage it is now for the last critique on May 13th, I completely understand that I would get that reaction.  School is supposed to be a safe haven, a learning environment to grow in before heading out to the harsh cruel world.  

I'm not disrespecting other disciplines by any means but if I had put 30 hours into 2D work, I would potentially have much more work to show for the 30 hours that I put in...  Sculpture is a completely different beast...sculpture has to be built first then modified and finished...  I put my all into building as much as I could.  My first plaster carving had a total of 120 hours of work into it, my second around 150 hours and the wood carving that I'm still working with has had 80 hours put into it and is not half done.  This is my senior project where I have a whole semester to work in it, it only has 30 hours into it so far...there will be much more.  Sculpture is something that can't be completely seen for what it us until it is 2/3 to 3/4 of the way through.  Please, correct me if I'm wrong but that is my thought and experience.

I have gotten some feedback from several people since the critique yesterday and everyone has come back with the same opinion...keep going, keep pushing and do what my instinct tells me.  I know that I'm on the right track, I can't explain how or why, but I know that I am.  I know where I am going and how I'm going to get there and I just have to put the negative nellies on the back burner.  Stay tuned for more progress in the next few weeks!

Crit-Eve Process Pictures

So here is what I have done so far, I spent another 7.5 hours working in the studio today which brings me to a grand total of 30 hours so far.  The first group of images that you see were my progress up until today and are how the piece is meant to be viewed.  The second group of images are my progress from today, the piece is currently upside down so that it can be steady and clamped properly as I am taking a mid point and working both upward and downward from that point.  I will be going into the studio early tomorrow so that I can make sure my joints are secure and to attempt to get this thing clamped together so it can be seen as a whole for the critique.  I will, of course, post process images of the whole thing clamped together after the critique as well as give my thoughts on how it went and whether or not I will modify my direction at all.  So without further ado, here goes!

First Set:

Second Set: